We walk in and I have to say, I was amazed at all of the things they had. Salad dressing with 0 carbs, 0 calories, 0 fat, 0 sugar, and 0 sodium...(that should have been a clue...). Pasta galore - although not super low carb, lower and within limits. Gluten free, GMO free, Sugar free, flavor free (did I say that?). All the shelves packed with colorful foods and wonderful catchy advertising. All promising to meet our taste expectations and still remain diabetic friendly. Upon closer inspection, some nutritional labels looked promising, others way out of our ranges. Then we started looking at the prices.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 8.99 for a loaf of bread? Did the people who manufacture this stuff really think someone in their right mind would pay for a loaf of bread at this price. I tell you what. Before it got into my basked it better whistle Dixie for me and wash my dishes. 3.99 for a breakfast bar? 18.99 for sugar substitute???? Now I know there must be some mistake. People don't actually buy this stuff do they? All the while the shop keeper telling my husband, who has our cart half full by this point, "Oh yes, I have had that, it is very good! Very good for you too!" He was sucked in.
I didn't even ask him how much he spent but we went home with a biscuit mix, brownie mix, blueberry muffin mix, salad dressing, bagels, pasta, sugar free candy and a few other things. I myself admit I bought some sugar free candy and a protein bar and some chocolate covered marshmallows.
The next morning we decided to make biscuits and gravy. I took the biscuit mix out thinking it would be like a normal mix. Add eggs and buttermilk, pat out, cut and bake. Right.
As I am boiling the hot water and butter and dumping the "dry" mixture into the boiling water I am thinking "I'm not a great biscuit maker but this just doesn't seem right..." So I read the directions again. Yep, this is the way I am supposed to do it.
As I am letting the hot dough cool enough to add the three eggs, I guess it looks sort of like biscuit dough. So I add the eggs and pat out into biscuit shapes like the directions tell me. I bake. They don't smell like biscuits. The sort of look like a drop biscuit.
I make some sausages and gravy (which actually are well within carb ranges... go figure). I decide to try a biscuit plain to see how it was. You know that things little kids do when they take a bite of something and decide it is the most horrible thing that could have ever been put in their mouth? You know, the open the mouth fully, wagging their tongue to make sure every last crumb is out of their mouths, before squishing their eyes together and shaking their heads? Now picture a 37 year old woman doing that. Hubs laughed so hard he doubled over. Then he realized I was handing him a piece to try. "You bought it, you try it!" I said. He dutifully took a bite. Declared it wasn't bad and went to sit quietly and wait for his breakfast. I knew he hated it and wasn't going to say a thing.
Since I thought I may have been overreacting, I decided to put some gravy on and try again. I served up breakfast. Nope, no way was that horrid thing going down. I had to spit it out. Even with wonderful pepper gravy and sausage, it still tasted like an overcooked microwaved egg with some chemical butter.
Well that was a waste of 7.89. And the worst part is, there is still another packet of the mix left in the bag. I would not wish this on anyone but cant bring myself to throw it out. We will see if I cant do something with it to make it edible. But until I get that taste out of my mouth, it can sit.
All this fun and I haven't even gotten to the salad dressing. Imagine this. Beautiful salad, sliced radishes, mushrooms, cheese, the works. Now picture a 40 year old man making a tongue waggle and wiping the insides of his mouth whit a napkin to remove all traces of taste. Yep, you got it... Gross!!!!
Now I understand it. People in some factory somewhere have devised an evil plot to part us with our hard earned money. Lure folks new to the lifestyle in by promising these products will taste like they came out of your grandmothers kitchen and outrageously price them because by the time they figure out they hate the product, hey, its OK, we made our money on it and there will be another sucker on the horizon soon.
I do have to say, the bagels, were not bad, but probably not something we will put on our normal shopping list. In the mean time, I am searching for recipes that taste good and meet the nutritional needs. I know I can make it cheaper and better. I just need a week off to play and a health food store to be open.
Oh and by the way, the marshmallows were great...expensive, but great!
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